I guess I really don't believe in coincidences. I believe there is a design to our lives and that design is created by God. This applies to the good and the bad in our lives. Although God doesn't make bad things happen to us, he has given his highest creation (human beings), the gift of being made in his image (we can think, choose, and love); we have a freewill. When this awesome gift is set in motion, it can sometimes create good and sometimes bad. We also live in a fallen creation and bad things are part of our universe. When something good happens in my life, I have no trouble assigning the source of my happiness to God. And when I get a thought to call a friend or help a stranger, I always give credit to the Holy Spirit. But, when something goes wrong, it's harder to find any joy or meaning in that type of suffering. It takes work and maybe even many years to see what good could come from such a thing.
In high school, I often wondered why my teenage crush never gave me one glance. My heart always seemed to be broken. But, as I became an adult and started to date my husband-to-be, everything seemed to fall into place. There are so many times that I can see the workings of God's design in my life. I can see how some of the saddest times in my life have led to good.
On Feb. 17th, as I was preparing for Lent, I suddenly became very ill. I developed a high fever, chills and body aches. I felt as though I had the flu. After 10 days of the usual treatments, I was getting worse. I developed an inflamed liver and jaundice. I underwent ultrasounds, cat scans, and numerous lab tests. The fatigue was very debilitating and I was unable to work or take care of my family. After the doctor's testing, I was found to have Mononucleosis/Epstein-Barr Virus. Prior to getting sick, I had decided to take a fast from my addiction to Facebook. It was all kind of a joke among my family and friends. They were all saying, "You can't do it" and "You'll never make it". I was scared, but I knew I could do it. I had asked God to help me break my habit and to help me grow closer to him during this 6 week fast. Well, I had "0" energy and never even wanted to touch the computer or access Facebook. He made breaking my habit very easy. But, God took my illness and placed me in the desert with his son, Jesus. I was so tired, I couldn't even pray or read his word. But, he gave me silence, peace, and the gift of relying upon him totally. By doing this, he drew me closer to him, and that's exactly what I had asked from him. I often thought of Jesus and his 40 days in the desert. I know he must have felt confused and alone. He was tempted by Satan and must have been at his wits end, but those human emotions allowed him to refocus and accept his ultimate mission-the salvation of the world! I hope we can all learn to take our own personal deserts and learn to refocus and accept our own mission-to love and serve our Lord, Jesus Christ!
p.s. I made it 6 weeks without Facebook and I returned to work after a 4 week recovery. I'm still healing and seeing my doctor for follow-ups!
Keep on Dancing!!
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